the story so far...

His will…

Something that I have been having issues with in my life and in regards to future planning is just trusting in God’s will. There is especially one area of my life I usually decide for myself what will happen. I hate to say it, but it’s in the area of a romantic relationship.

In the 26 years I have been alive (half way to 27) I have been in a dating relationship for a total of 3 months. So that’s about 3/312=.0096 or approximately 1% of my total life that I have been ‘involved’ with someone of the fairer sex. Putting it that way makes it that much more depressing, doesn’t it? This kind of view that I have regarding relationships and it isn’t a very good one since even at my age, I am very, very inexperienced. A little background:

-In high school, I was never really interested in dating, I was much more into just hanging out with the friends I had and never really went after any one female. I even had to be coaxed into asking someone to prom. I did enjoy my date, but any kind of relationship was a million miles from my mind.

-In college, things changed some. I was interested in a few ladies I knew, and actually dated one I was brave enough to ask. It ended in shambles.

-In and out of college, I’ve had issues with either keeping female friends or in any dating relationship. One lasted about 1-2 months but ended abruptly while the last one lasted mostly just a weekend. Both ended due to something I did (at least I presume so).

So here I am now, as I have done before, saying that I’ve completely sworn off women forever and that there is about 0% chance for me to get married, let alone find a girl who could stand being with me for more than a month or two. It’s really bad; I just got off the phone with my mother telling her that I will be single for the foreseeable future but I really meant that it’s about impossible for that to happen.

This is where God’s will comes in. How dare I say or even think something like that? Who am I, God? Of course not. I don’t know what will happen in the next 15 seconds let alone the next 15 years. Where do I get off on saying that I know of God’s plan for my life and just come out and say that I’m gonna just remain a bachelor the rest of my life?

And this is my struggle. I know God has a plan for me and I don’t want to remain stagnant in my walk, but I allow myself to think about what I have planned for the future and thinking about myself. Aka: Self-Centeredness. And it’s a bigger problem than most of us would like to admit.

In some way, we are all self-centered instead of Christ-centered. And this causes us too much trouble for us and our walk with Christ. We look at ourselves and what we want and how we want it and then bring it to God. That is in no way right, since we are totally focused on the things we want. I know that if we are following God and are seeking God’s will for our life, then the desires of our hearts will be what God desires for us (Psalm 37:4). And I think that’s what most of us miss.

It’s a little weird, since this type of topic has come up a few times in the past week. The role of God’s will on our lives and how far too many Christians look at God as an overflowing portable hole with all the stuff we want and many are things that are simply temporary.

I know I’ve gone on a real long tangent, but I hope I have made my point clear. Remember, alot of what I write is also a huge reminder to myself since it seems I forget too often everything that God has done in my life. And the point is to trust in God in every way in everything. Don’t try to plan out your future or think you know so much better than God as to what is going to happen. Don’t say this or that will or won’t happen, because we are clueless. We have no clue what’s gonna happen at any given moment.

We do have good guesses, but we aren’t God in any way. His thoughts are so much higher than we could ever imagine. Changes that are made we do not even see since we are always stuck in the short term or the day to day. God sees eternity and knows what’s going to happen and when. Give God the glory that He is our creator and that He’s the one in control. We aren’t.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)