the story so far...

the end of a long week

So, I know it’s technically Saturday but I have yet to go to bed so this will count as my Friday post. I’m really only three days in and this is getting tough. Put me through the fire Lord.

This week has been one long and difficult week. So many things have happened regarding relationships, work, health and the week really doesn’t end for about another 23 hours (my weeks start on Sunday). I’m not even sure where I should begin and what I should and shouldn’t include.

I’m going to spare you most of the details because I feel that I do not need to divulge the entirety of the current situation. What has happened has happened and there is nothing I can change about it. All I know is that I do not want to think about what this week would have been like without God.

The main portion of the story is that there is this girl who I started talking to about two months ago. Nothing serious at the time; we were both just friends and I didn’t have a clue if she liked me or not in any other way (ladies take note here: most guys are oblivious; just tell them since it gets the job done a little faster). After a while, she does end up telling me that she may be interested in something more. Her and I hang out a little more after this and as far as I knew, we were really digging each other.

Last weekend was what I was excited for since we had our first date together. Tho, it seemed like I had made some sort of mistake (or mistakes) along the way and she didn’t want to have a relationship. I was crushed.

Here’s where I really messed up. I have this habit of thinking that when a girl comes along and she seems interested, I think it’s a miracle and dive head first into it. This usually ends with alot of heartache and headache (pun intended). So the same went for this and she really didn’t want to be together. Based on passed relationships (not to be spoken of here) I should have been a little more understanding.

It also didn’t help that I freaked out some over it. I really liked her and wanted her and I to be together. Remember, where was my heart? Oh right, I forgot it was completely out of whack and not inline with God. So I created a mess; not good at all.

Today it really felt like her and I actually talked as friends since Sunday, and that’s good. I’m not interested in her anymore in a romantical sense and I’m sure she sees me the same way. I really hope that her and I could at least become good friends, tho it takes time and God to heal scars.

The best things that came out of this week would be:

1. Getting sick - Being sick usually sucks, but it gave me enough time to reflect on what I had been doing and how messed up and worldly it was. Being sick gave me time to focus on God and his word. It was a real blessing to be sick.

2. A God-centered life - It is so easy to allow the flesh just to control your daily actions. It’s like running on auto-pilot; no real work involved. It seems like for too long I have allowed my life to be run this way. God still in the picture, but He was more of a steward handing me drinks and snacks when I really needed it. It’s a horrible way to live and I’ve already dealt with that. Placing the focus on God again, and giving him the captain’s has helped immensely. I still have a long journey ahead, but I know where my focus now lies.

Now that the week is over, I am glad I went through everything. I know I didn’t want anything to change when the week first started. Change is hard; no one likes to change since staying the same is just so much easier. We are used to the same old thing because we know how it works. But God forces us to change. And whether we like it or not, change is great and essential to growing in Christ.

He is the potter and we are the clay. Please Lord; send me through the fire once more.